How to Win Friends and Influence People – Care Example

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"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a brilliant example of a paper on care. How to Win Friends and influence people by Carnegie is a famous book that is admired for its influence on positive human behaviour. It provides practical life lessons that can impact on a person’ s social life and provides strategies for creating an environment for everyone in society. Through a series of hilarious life stories, Carnegie defines the fundamental principles of constructing long term relationships through positive social behaviors. He pays particular attention to the various strategies that one can people aboard his plans by attracting them and providing an atmosphere that can influence their course of action.

This book has a lot of relevance to the nursing practice in its social aspect. The nursing profession is social in nature and nurses are practitioners who encounter people each day and have to influence their behavior positively. In addition, in their role of counseling, nurses have to learn how to influence their patients positively by associating with them. In short, nursing professionals have a lot to learn from Carnegie’ s inspirational book. Carnegie's opens the book by providing the fundamental techniques of handling people.

Particularly, he talks about the need for criticism while handling people. He states that “ criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’ s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment” . By these words, Carnegie condemns criticism in the social arena and advises the audience to avoid it if they intend to associate well with others. This helps to avoid friction while handling people and gives space to cohesive relationships. Instead, he advises people to speak ill of no one but speak positively of any person they know.

Also, it is crucial to learn people before handling them, as learning them helps to know what they like and what they do not like. He gives of successful men such as Abraham Lincoln who succeeded in not speaking ill of other people. The idea of Carnegie is that human beings are sensitive to criticism as it hurts their feelings and reduces their morale to socialize with others. Because all human beings are unique, it is important to learn them, and appreciate who they are before associating with them (Carnegie, 1936).

In a nutshell, the author feels that the fundamental principles of handling them are avoiding criticism, condemnation or even complains. Secondly, Carnegie shifts his focus on the way one can form a cohesive relationship with his friends. On this, he emphasizes the need for honesty and sincerity in handling people. One must learn to tell the truth and give sincere appreciation to his friends whenever they deserve. The power of a smile in making friendships is awesome as actions speak louder than words.

A smile signifies a special interest in people and attracts them to form a close relationship with you. Another way to win friends is to get them talking about themselves, and developing an interest in listening to them. Learning to remember the names of friends adds to the effect as people will prefer to socialize with people who know their names. Carnegie puts emphasis on the need for paying attention to the interests of other people. As one talks, you should express people’ s interests so as to draw them closer to your conversation rather than speaking for oneself.

The idea of the author is that one needs to cultivate friendship if they need it to survive (Carnegie, 1936). Being genuinely interested in people’ s ideas, interests, words, and names will attract them to form a strong friendship with them. Thirdly, Carnegie expresses basic principles that can be applied to influence people within the social spheres. To start with, he states that “ the best way to avoid an argument is to avoid it. ” The author implies that for one to influence people one must avoid arguments at all costs, as this is a potential source of tension.

Therefore, one should give people the right to express their ideas, before sharing their own in an open manner. The value of admitting fault whenever in one strengthens the bonds of friendships. While passing one idea, it should be in in a dramatic manner, like it happens in TV shows, and in the most appreciative manner. Appreciating people’ s ideas and avoiding to tell them “ you are wrong” helps to create a better relationship and keeps their attention close to you.

Therefore, they will be willing to give you an opportunity to express your ideas. Alternatively, one can throw a challenge, and as they handle the challenge together, it is possible to come up with realistic ideas that are more convincing. This way, it is possible to influence people, and align them with your ideas. In nursing practice, professionals must be prepared to handle many people and attend to their needs in the most effective manner.

The complexity of the patient population can only be handled through Carnegie’ s idea of handling unique human behaviour. Carnegie (1936) points out that it is crucial for one to understand others in order to be able to handle them. In this light, nurses must learn to understand the unique behaviors of their patients to handle them appropriately. Patients in hospitals have unique social needs that the nurse needs to learn before handling them (Nagelkerk & Huber, 2006). As they interact with patients, it is crucial to develop a genuine interest in them, listen to them, and avoid criticizing them.

This way, they are likely to cooperate and be friendly to the nurse, which makes service delivery much easier. Another crucial aspect of nursing is remembering the patients by their names, which, as Carnegie points out helps to feel appreciated and establishes a closer link between the nurse and the patients. Another lesson for nurses from Carnegie's literary piece is the principles of influencing people in the behavior or actions. Nursing professionals handle counseling cases that require them to influence patients’ behavior positively to impact change in their life (Larkin, 2011).

Carnegie provides an approach that the nurse can use to influence their patients and support positive behavior among them. To Influence their patients, the nurses should make the patients give their own ideas on the matter under their discussion. When a patient finds provides idea and the nurse appreciates it, without criticizing it, they will find it easier to follow than when the nurse brings it about (Carnegie, 1936). To pass their own ideas, nurses should do so in a friendly manner and put them across as opinions.

Alternatively, they can develop a challenge which together with the patient can work on to provide solutions to their problem. For instance, when counseling victims of drug abuse, it is crucial for nurses to develop a close relationship with their subject before providing their ideas. To impact change on such individuals, a nurse must refrain from direct criticism that is likely to trigger resentment among their patients. Notably, Carnegie’ s ideas on social behavior are applicable in nursing practice, one of the careers that demand positive social behavior.

In conclusion, Carnegie’ s piece “ How to Win Friends and influence people” is a superior literary work that provides principles of constructing positive social relationships and influencing people’ s actions. Carnegie condemns criticism and arguments as the worse killers of social relationships. On the other hand, he recommends a positive attitude, interest in people’ s behavior, understanding, and respecting the ideas of other people. Also, he lays emphasis on the need for people to express their humility by admitting their mistakes within social groups. These principles are applicable to nursing practice where professionals need to establish healthy relationships with their clients.

Following the principles put forward by the author will ensure that they create a friendship with their clients and influence their actions.


Carnegie, D., (1936). How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York:

Simon & Schuster.

Larkin, M. (2011). Social aspects of health, illness, and healthcare. Maidenhead: Open University Press.

Nagelkerk, J. M., & Huber, D. (2006). Study guide for Leadership and nursing care management, third edition. St. Louis: Saunders Elsevier.

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